THE FAITHFUL MATE

I just read a beautiful letter, written by my former Seminary Professor Dr. Warren A. Gage, concerning the unfaithfulness of a mate and the overwhelming love of their spouse. In reading this, one automatically thinks on the believer's relationship with Christ and how He is always loving to us, even when we are unfaithful to Him. Take a moment and read this letter and, as you do, ponder on the unbelievable devotion and love that Christ shows us as His Bride, despite our unworthiness of such a calling.


To My Beloved,

I will never understand what you saw in me. I can’t imagine why you would ever have wanted me. All I ever knew, from the time I was born, was that no one wanted me. My father forsook me at birth. Even my mother rejected me and left me. I was abandoned and uncared for. I don’t recall ever being attractive to anyone. No one ever noticed me much less told me that I was pretty.

Then you found me. Without any reason I ever understood, you loved me. But I didn’t trust your love. I couldn’t really believe your tender words. I had given away my love to many men before I even knew you. All of my lovers took me, used me, and rejected me. No one loved me in return. Men delight in the purity of their bride. You knew I had no purity left to give. But you proposed your love to me anyway.

There were moments when I thought perhaps I could love you in return. You gave me your name and titles. You shared your home with me. You gave me new clothes. You were generous to me with gems and golden jewels. I began to think of myself as lovely somehow. Maybe that’s why I began to catch the eye of strangers. The unaccustomed attention was flattering to me. I enjoyed it at first. But soon it became irresistible. So I returned the flirtatious glance. I was certain you would never know. I imagined you wouldn’t care anyway. Then one night I met a handsome stranger. Stolen waters are sweet indeed. They washed away my regret at my own unfaithfulness. Then another night captured my heart. Then another. I knew you knew. But the thrill of a stolen moment became a secret adventure that continued for many long years of dark nights.

Was it my guilt, for I had forgotten how to grieve, or was it my shame that caused me to turn on you, to despise you? I began to hate you as much as I suppose I hated myself. I struck out at you, and secretly wanted you to strike me in return. Your constant kindness caused me to despise you even more. I thought you were naïve. I imagined you were weak. Even though I hated myself, I lashed out at you. I rejected your promises. I had contempt for your patience. I screamed at you. Then I refused to speak to you. I hated you. I hit you and scratched you. I used every weapon I could find to injure you. You forgave me. I slapped you. You looked at me with sorrow. I hissed and spat at you. You said you loved me. I said I hated you. I raged against you. You were the stronger, but nonetheless I struck you and clawed at you and scratched you. You bled and blessed me.

I threw away your wedding ring. I trashed all the clothes you gave me. I wanted to be completely free from you. I wanted to be loose from my shame that your sorrow made worse. I ran away from you. Far away. Fast away. Running from you and running from myself. No stranger looked at me anymore. Angry. Alone. Broken. Shattered.

It was the remembrance of your love that led me home. Now as I look at you, I see peace in your eyes. Your kindness covers me like a coat in winter. Your joy teaches my heart to sing again. Now I am held close by arms that bear the furrows where once I scratched and clawed you. Now I kiss the scars my own fingers carved into your brow.

I still do not know what you see in me. I can’t imagine why you would still want me.

But one thing I know: I am my beloved’s. And you are mine.

Your love is stronger than death. You have loved me with an everlasting love. You will never leave me or forsake me. At last you have taught me how to love you.

Your Beloved